What's the big deal?

Characters

Johnny: a teenager suffering with anorexia.

Nurse Mary: a nurse working at the eating clinic who has a fascination with Johnny. 

Megan: a teenager in the eating clinic. 

SCENE 1

Inside the Nurse’s office, NURSE and MEGAN are sat at the desk.

NURSE: How would you say your week has been Megan?

MEGAN: It’s been okay, yeah.

NURSE: Settling in alright?

MEGAN: I’m getting there now. Finally finished my room.

NURSE: Well that sounds good. Is everyone being nice to you?

MEGAN: Yeah they’re all so welcoming, Johnny’s being so lovely as well.

NURSE: (Pause.) Good, good… What’s he been doing?

MEGAN: What?

NURSE: Well, why is he so lovely? 

MEGAN: Oh, he’s just getting me used to everything.

NURSE: Right… Anything else?

MEGAN: Well, I don’t know, he’s just been a really good friend.

NURSE: Good… That’s good to hear. 

MEGAN: Have you spoken to my parents?

NURSE: I’m afraid everything still stands. 

MEGAN: Really? Did you make sure-

NURSE: I told them everything you asked me to Megan.

MEGAN: Okay… Thank you.

NURSE: Of course. So, I’ve got your results from this week and I’m afraid it’s not what we hoped for. You’ve maintained so it’s not too bad, but we’re really looking for a gain.

MEGAN: But I don’t need-

NURSE: Let’s set a goal for 3lbs this week, okay?

MEGAN: I’d sooner just-

NURSE: I know you’re convinced you don’t need to be here-

MEGAN: I don’t.

NURSE: But the doctors admitted you for a reason, and we’re just here to help.

MEGAN: I don’t need your help.

NURSE: We’ll make sure you leave here with no problems at all.

MEGAN: But I don’t have a-

NURSE: Perfect. I think we’re all done then.

MEGAN: Did my parents not say anything?

NURSE: (Pause.) They told me to help you get better. Now, off you pop. Let Johnny in on your way out. 

MEGAN exits and then JOHNNY enters.

NURSE: Hello Johnny Love.

JOHNNY: Hi Mary.

NURSE: How are you? Oh sit, sit. Had a good week? I haven’t seen you around much. I’ve missed-

JOHNNY: Yeah, I’ve been with Megan.

NURSE: Right. She was just telling me you were helping her.

JOHNNY: She did? What did she say?

NURSE: Oh, nothing much. You’re just so helpful, aren’t you Johnny? You’re just so lovely and-

JOHNNY: How have you been this week?

NURSE: Me? Oh I’ve been good, yes I’ve been good. Like I said, I’ve been /missing you.

JOHNNY: /How was Megan’s meeting?

NURSE: What? Why do you-

JOHNNY: Did she do well?

NURSE: (Pause.) No. She didn’t.

JOHNNY: Oh god, I think she’s really struggling.

NURSE: Well that’s not your concern, is it Johnny? And at the moment she’s not my concern either, you are. Just you.

JOHNNY: You should help her.

NURSE: I will, you know me, I help everyone.

JOHNNY: Yeah I know.

NURSE: But right now, I’m helping you. Let’s just forget about her for a minute, okay?

JOHNNY: (Pause.) Sure.

NURSE: So, this week you’ve had a 1lb gain. Well done you!

JOHNNY: Thank you.

NURSE: Not quite the 4lbs we were hoping for, but still brilliant.

JOHNNY: I guess.

NURSE: Well, I know. You’re doing so well Love.

JOHNNY: Thank /you.

NURSE: /You just need to make sure you don’t get distracted again.

JOHNNY: Distracted?

NURSE: Yes. You know what happened last time, it took months to fix you up.

JOHNNY: I know.

NURSE: Don’t want that to happen again, do we?

JOHNNY: No.

NURSE: No, we don’t. So don’t let her take you away from what’s important.

JOHNNY: Her?

NURSE: Megan.

JOHNNY: Megan?

NURSE: Yes. If you spend too much time helping her, you’ll forget to help yourself. 

JOHNNY: I won’t-

NURSE: In fact, I’m going to double our meetings for the next few weeks, just to be safe.

JOHNNY: I don’t think I /need that.

NURSE: /Just to be safe. I want to help you Johnny. I want to make sure you get better.

JOHNNY: And I am getting better.

NURSE: So let’s keep it that way, yes?

JOHNNY: Right. Shall I send the next person in?

NURSE: You’re so helpful Love. Thank you.

JOHNNY: Course.

JOHNNY exits. NURSE is alone.

NURSE: I will get you better Johnny, I will. I swear on my life, you’ll leave this place.

SCENE TWO

At a dinner table, MEGAN is sat with JOHNNY.

JOHNNY: So how did it go?

MEGAN: It was fine, yeah.

JOHNNY: Did she speak to your parents?

MEGAN: Yeah, no luck though.

JOHNNY: That sucks.

MEGAN: Tell me about it, can’t say I’m surprised though.

JOHNNY: Fair enough.

MEGAN: What about you?

JOHNNY: It was okay, I’ve got to have double sessions now though.

MEGAN: Really?

JOHNNY: Apparently I get distracted easily or something.

MEGAN: Oh, well I’m sure it’ll help.

JOHNNY: How was your session though, really?

MEGAN: It was fine.

JOHNNY: Really?

MEGAN: Yeah, I maintained but that’s what I wanted.

JOHNNY: It was?

MEGAN: Yeah, I’m happy right now, why change it?

JOHNNY: So you can get out?

MEGAN: My parents will come around eventually. 

JOHNNY: Right… You know you can get good help here?

MEGAN: I don’t need help.

JOHNNY: But what if you do?

MEGAN: Johnny.

JOHNNY: When I came here I was in denial /too.

MEGAN: /I’m not in denial. 

JOHNNY: If you just open up to the nurses a little bit.

MEGAN: I have opened up, I’ve opened up and told them that I’m fine. That I don’t have a problem, that I actually enjoy food. I tell them that I don’t need to be here and they do nothing, they just shake their heads!

JOHNNY: They’ve heard it all before.

MEGAN: But it’s true.

JOHNNY: (Pause.) Prove it then.

MEGAN: What?

JOHNNY: Prove. It. Tell you what, seen as you enjoy food, I’ll eat whatever you eat. That way you’ll help me as you’re so ‘fine’.

MEGAN: Don’t put that pressure on me.

JOHNNY: But you’ll help me. If I eat what you eat then surely I’ll get better quicker. Seen as you don’t have a problem.

MEGAN: You can’t-

JOHNNY exits and then returns with two plates full of food.

JOHNNY: Go on then.

MEGAN: What?

JOHNNY: Eat.

MEGAN: I’m not eating that.

JOHNNY: Then neither am I.

MEGAN: Johnny-

JOHNNY: Why won’t you eat it?

MEGAN: It’s meat. I’m vegetarian, you know that.

JOHNNY: But the sooner you eat the sooner both of us are out.

MEGAN: You can get better on your own Johnny.

JOHNNY: Well now I need you.

MEGAN: (Long Pause.) If I eat it all then you have to too?

JOHNNY: Yep.

MEGAN: You’re an asshole you know.

JOHNNY: I’ve been told once or twice.

MEGAN: All of it?

JOHNNY: Depends how much you want me to get better.

MEGAN: Fine. 

MEGAN starts to eat the food, she starts slowly at first and then gets quicker and quicker. JOHNNY just watches.

JOHNNY: You weren’t lying, you do enjoy your food…

MEGAN: See I told you.

JOHNNY: Maybe slow down a little bit though? 

MEGAN: I just want to get it over with.

JOHNNY: But you-

MEGAN: I hate meat.

JOHNNY: You’ll make yourself sick Megan.

MEGAN: I won’t.

JOHNNY: You will. 

MEGAN: I just want to eat it all so you have to.

JOHNNY: I get that, but you’ll make yourself ill.

MEGAN: I’m not ill.

JOHNNY: I wasn’t saying that you were.

MEGAN finishes her food.

MEGAN: Your turn. All of it.

JOHNNY: As promised.

MEGAN: Good. I want you to get better.

NURSE enters and instantly comes over to the table.

NURSE: Hello Johnny. Megan. Well, someone was hungry.

MEGAN: Yeah, just another reason why I-

NURSE: You’ve not touched yours yet Johnny. Are you okay?

JOHNNY: I’m good actually. Megan’s helping me.

NURSE: What?

JOHNNY: Yeah, Megan is-

NURSE: And how would she know how to do that?

MEGAN: We just-

NURSE: I wasn’t asking you Megan.

JOHNNY: Calm down Mary.

MEGAN: Mary?

JOHNNY: Megan was just showing me how nice food can be. How easy it is to enjoy a full meal. That’s all.

NURSE: Oh.

JOHNNY: She was just trying to help.

MEGAN: Johnny said that whatever I eat, he will as well.

NURSE: He did?

MEGAN: Yeah so I-

NURSE: So you think you can fix him.

MEGAN: What?

NURSE: You want to fix him.

MEGAN: (Pause.) Honestly, I don’t think there’s anything to fix. 

NURSE: Oh my-

JOHNNY: Mary, why don’t we /leave this.

NURSE: /Nothing to fix?

MEGAN: I’m sorry. I think I’m just going to go.

NURSE: Yes, I think you should.

JOHNNY: Hey!

MEGAN: It’s okay. See you later Johnny.

MEGAN exits.

JOHNNY: What was that about?

NURSE: She can’t help you Johnny, only I can.

JOHNNY: She was just-

NURSE: I don’t care! She’s not trained! She could just hurt you more!

JOHNNY: Okay.

NURSE: You know how you are Love. She could-

JOHNNY: Yes, yes. Sorry. 

NURSE: Just be careful. 

JOHNNY: I am.

NURSE: (Pause.) Good, because I-

JOHNNY: I need the bathroom.

JOHNNY exits.

NURSE: Because I need you.

SCENE THREE

Inside Megan’s room. MEGAN is covered in vomit.

MEGAN: You’re fine, you’re fine. It’s okay, it’ll be okay.

There’s a knock at the door, it’s JOHNNY.

JOHNNY: Megan?

MEGAN: I’m busy.

JOHNNY: Can we talk?

MEGAN: I’m just doing something at the moment.

JOHNNY: Megan?

MEGAN: Please Johnny.

JOHNNY: Are you okay?

MEGAN: I’m fine.

JOHNNY unlocks the door and enters the room.

MEGAN: What are you doing? Get out!

JOHNNY: I can’t.

MEGAN: Yes you can! Get out!

JOHNNY: I don’t want to.

MEGAN: Well I want you to! How the fuck did you-

JOHNNY: It was my friends room. Spare key.

MEGAN: That gives you no excuse to just-

JOHNNY: I know and I’m sorry. Can I help with anything?

MEGAN: I don’t need your help.

JOHNNY: Can I get you a towel or-

MEGAN: I said I don’t need help! I’m fine okay! I’m fine.

JOHNNY: Alright. 

MEGAN: You’re the one who needs help!

JOHNNY: And that’s why you’re helping me.

MEGAN: Oh not me. Don’t you mean Mary.

JOHNNY: She just-

MEGAN: She just what? She’s obsessed with you? She has a thing for you? What Johnny!?

JOHNNY: She’s just trying to help.

MEGAN: Right.

JOHNNY: I had a problem before /and she…

MEGAN: /You have a problem now!

JOHNNY: There was a situation.

MEGAN: What did she touch you or something?

JOHNNY: Not with her. With someone else.

MEGAN: Another Nurse?

JOHNNY: No. A friend. 

MEGAN: A special friend?

JOHNNY: No! A normal friend who lived in this room and killed himself because he was trapped!

MEGAN: (Pause.) Oh… I’m -

JOHNNY: Sorry? Don’t be. It’s what he wanted. But Mary… she helped me get through it.

MEGAN: That was good of her.

JOHNNY: Yes it was because I had a massive relapse. I refused to eat and threw up anything I was forced. I had heart failure and almost died. She was there for me Megan.

MEGAN: I didn’t know.

JOHNNY: So yes, she’s a bit protective. But she helped me. She helps me every single day in fact.

MEGAN: Don’t you think it’s a little weird though? 

JOHNNY: What’s weird?

MEGAN: How she is around you?

JOHNNY: She’s just doing her job.

MEGAN: She’s not like that with everyone though.

JOHNNY: Like I said, she’s just protective of me.

MEGAN: Okay…

JOHNNY: What happened anyway?

MEGAN: What?

JOHNNY: Megan?

MEGAN: I just ate too quickly.

JOHNNY: Of course you did.

MEGAN: It’s true.

JOHNNY: I told you, you were eating too fast.

MEGAN: And I should have listened.

JOHNNY: Promise me that was all it was?

MEGAN: Johnny I-

JOHNNY: Promise me.

MEGAN: I promise. I’m fine, honestly. 

NURSE enters the room.

NURSE: Oh god.

JOHNNY: Megan just-

NURSE: Yes I can see.

MEGAN: I ate too quickly.

NURSE: More like you threw up your dinner because you ate it all.

MEGAN: No, I promise I didn’t.

JOHNNY: She was just too fast.

NURSE: A serious bulimic.

MEGAN: I am not.

NURSE: Johnny, Love, please go and get me some towels. Oh and some carpet cleaner from my office.

JOHNNY: On it.

JOHNNY exits.

NURSE: We’ll get you fixed up Megan.

MEGAN: But I don’t need-

NURSE: We’ll get you all clean.

MEGAN: Honestly, I just ate too much.

NURSE: You don’t need to lie anymore.

MEGAN: I’m not-

NURSE: Bulimia is easy enough to treat.

MEGAN: But I’m not-

NURSE: Yes you are. You just forced yourself to be sick after having a meal. You forced yourself because you felt pathetic and weak.

MEGAN: No I-

NURSE: Admit it! 

MEGAN: There’s nothing to admit!

NURSE: And you think you can help him. 

MEGAN: What?

NURSE: You honestly think you can help Johnny.

MEGAN: Listen, I don’t think I can.

NURSE: But you do! You want to steal him away from me! You want him all to yourself so you can make him ill again.

MEGAN: No I don’t! 

NURSE: You just want to hurt him!

MEGAN: No!

NURSE: He’s mine! He always will be!

MEGAN: He’s yours, he’s yours.

NURSE: (Pause.) Yes he is. 

MEGAN: I’m sorry-

NURSE: You will be.

MEGAN: What?

NURSE: Well, now your illness has finally reared it’s head, I know just how to help you.

MEGAN: I don’t have an illness!

NURSE: Still in denial.

MEGAN: I am not.

NURSE: Just tell the truth.

MEGAN: I am.

JOHNNY enters the room.

JOHNNY: Everything alright?

NURSE: Megan is just /being…

MEGAN: /She’s insane.

JOHNNY: What?

NURSE: Oh Megan.

MEGAN: Johnny, you have to believe me! She’s obsessed with you! I was right okay, I was right!

NURSE: Don’t listen to her Love. She’s had a rough night and is probably delirious from making herself so violently sick.

MEGAN: I did not make myself-

JOHNNY: She just ate her food too quickly.

NURSE: I’ve seen this before Johnny. It’s a simple technique, they eat quickly so when they throw up they have an excuse.

MEGAN: No that’s not what I-

NURSE: She’s very ill Love.

MEGAN: No I’m not!

JOHNNY: (Pause.) Did you really Megan? 

MEGAN: What?

JOHNNY: To cover it up?

MEGAN: No I would-

NURSE: And then she snapped at me for trying to help. I swear people with denial are just a danger to themselves.

JOHNNY: You snapped at her?

MEGAN: What?

JOHNNY: After what I told you earlier? She’s just trying to help Megan.

MEGAN: All she cares about helping is you!

JOHNNY: No! She cares abut you! You’re just too in denial to see it.

MEGAN: Johnny!

JOHNNY: You need some serious help Megan.

MEGAN: No I-

JOHNNY: Just give it up!

JOHNNY exits.

NURSE: We’ll get you the help you need.

MEGAN: You’re just…

NURSE: Trying to help.

MEGAN: Trying to help who exactly?

NURSE: Well you of course. Silly. Who else?

SCENE FOUR

In Nurse’s office. NURSE is on the phone. JOHNNY stands listening, unbeknown to NURSE.

NURSE: How was she? (Pause.) Oh, really? Well, I did tell you she was going to fight back. (Pause.) No that’s right, yes. (Pause.) Yes. (Pause.) Yes the most severe bulimia case I’ve ever seen, yes. (Pause.) I know. Poor girl scratched her own throat so much she can barely swallow. (Pause.) Yes, I know. (Pause.) Right, of course. (Pause.) Thank you again for coming at such short notice. You know what I’m like, such a worrier. (Pause.) I know you will, thank you. Bye. Bye now. 

JOHNNY: What was that?

NURSE: Oh Johnny! I didn’t see you there.

JOHNNY: What was that Mary?

NURSE: Nothing which concerns you.

JOHNNY: (Pause.) Megan wasn’t in her room this morning.

NURSE: Oh, really?

JOHNNY: Yes. All her stuff has gone as well.

NURSE: Well, how strange.

JOHNNY: Mary?

NURSE: (Pause.) Her parents came to pick her up.

JOHNNY: Mary, I know that’s not true…

NURSE: They did, they really… (Pause.) I was worried about her, okay? Really worried. I haven’t seen bulimia that bad in years, and her denial too, well she-

JOHNNY: So what did you do?

NURSE: Well, I sent her somewhere where she can get better help Love. The help she deserves.

JOHNNY: Why couldn’t you just help her?

NURSE: Well, I’m too busy with you.

JOHNNY: Right.

NURSE: And with that silly promise you two made, what else could I do?

JOHNNY: What?

NURSE: I didn’t know if you were going to start copying her even more. Start making yourself sick. What else could I do Johnny? I need to keep you safe.

JOHNNY: So you sent her away?

NURSE: Where she can get help.

JOHNNY: She could of gotten help here.

NURSE: No, she couldn’t.

JOHNNY: She posted a note under my door last night… Said that she was scared you were going to do something to her. That you threatened her. 

NURSE: Well that’s ridiculous! I would never!

JOHNNY: She also said that she wasn’t ill… And I’ve been thinking that maybe she wasn’t.

NURSE: Well you’re not trained so you wouldn’t-

JOHNNY: She was never sick before, you know? It was only when I made that deal and she ate quickly… She was here for a while and never once did she throw up. 

NURSE: I’ve seen bulimia before Johnny and-

JOHNNY: She wasn’t bulimic. Anorexia, maybe. But not bulimia. You didn’t need to send her away.

NURSE: But I did Johnny! She was hurting you.

JOHNNY: No she wasn’t.

NURSE: She was getting in your head, poisoning you and making you ill again. She was turning you against me! You didn’t want to spend as much time with me so… What else could I do Johnny? Just sit back and lose you forever?

JOHNNY: She was right about you.

NURSE: No, Johnny please.

JOHNNY: What is it then? You’re obsessed? What?

NURSE: I Love you.

JOHNNY: Bullshit.

NURSE: I do Johnny! It’s true.

JOHNNY: No, you can’t, you can’t. You’re my fucking nurse for gods sake.

NURSE: I’m the person who saved you.

JOHNNY: You’re the person who sent my only friend away because you were jealous.

NURSE: I’m not jealous. She was hurting you.

JOHNNY: No she wasn’t.

NURSE: It was going to be the same thing.

JOHNNY: No it wasn’t.

NURSE: It was! She was going to do something to herself and then you… you would just…

JOHNNY: So you just got rid of her?

NURSE: I sent her to a better place.

JOHNNY: A place she doesn’t need.

NURSE: Johnny.

JOHNNY: And anyway… what can they do that you can’t?

NURSE: Please.

JOHNNY: No. Just no!